12 posts tagged with "personal"

With yesterdya's new of the passing of Carl Dean, the beloved husband of Dolly Parton, I would like to share a re-imaging of the song he inspired.

Carl Dean was a man of quiet strength and unwavering support. As the beloved husband of Dolly Parton, he stood by her side through decades of triumphs and challenges. His love and dedication were a testament to the power of a steadfast partnership. Though he preferred a life away from the spotlight, his influence and presence were deeply felt by those who knew him. Carl's legacy will live on in the hearts of many, a reminder of the enduring power of love and commitment.

Twitter's been part of my daily routine for years — sharing code snippets, career insights, and connecting with the tech community. But recent changes have me rethinking where I spend my digital energy.

It's official: I'm starting a new job with General Dynamics (@GDMS). After nine incredible years at Barkley (@BarkleyUs, @BarkleyREI), it's time to turn the page to a new chapter.

This isn't a decision I made lightly.

Two years ago​

Two years ago today my son was born, We had known early on that it would be traumatic--He was diagnosed with a congenital diaphragmatic hernia and had a low survival chance. Over 50% of all diaphragmatic hernias are fatal.

Sometimes the best way forward is to go back to your roots. After 24 years of web hosting adventures - from the wild west days of Geocities to premium shared hosting - I'm taking a step that feels both nostalgic and revolutionary: moving to GitHub Pages.

This isn't just a hosting migration. It's a return to the hands-on, build-it-yourself ethos that got me excited about the web in the first place. When I first started building websites in 1996, every line of HTML was intentional, every image was optimized by necessity, and understanding how things worked wasn't optional - it was survival.

Fast-forward to 2020, and I find myself craving that same level of control and understanding. GitHub Pages offers something rare in today's web landscape: simplicity without sacrifice, power without complexity.

If I could sit down with my 25-year-old self over coffee, I'd probably start with "relax, you're going to be okay." Then I'd spend the next three hours frantically trying to download two decades of hard-earned wisdom before the timeline paradox kicked in.

The truth is, past me wouldn't have listened to most of this advice anyway. Some lessons can only be learned through experience, bruised knees, and the occasional spectacular failure. But maybe - just maybe - a few of these insights would have saved me some unnecessary detours and sleepless nights.

This isn't a list of regrets. I'm genuinely grateful for the path I took, wrong turns and all. These are observations from the other side of decisions, relationships, and career moves that seemed monumentally important at the time but turned out to be just Tuesday in the grand scheme of things.

Three years into my first corporate job, I found myself in a bathroom stall at 2 PM, fighting back tears after yet another meeting where my ideas were dismissed without consideration. I'd spent months trying to adapt to the company culture, modifying my communication style, tempering my enthusiasm, and generally trying to become someone I thought they wanted me to be.

The irony wasn't lost on me: in trying so hard to fit in, I'd made myself completely ineffective. My authentic self - the one who asked challenging questions, pushed for better solutions, and occasionally got excited about elegant code - had been systematically edited out of existence.

That's when I learned one of the most important lessons of my career: you have the right to be yourself, especially in professional settings where the pressure to conform can be overwhelming.

They told me that my son was a gift to science. They told me that I should abort. They told me to donate his remains to the hospital for research so that some good could come from his condition.

Where have I been lately​

It's been quite a while since my last update. I haven't stopped writing, and I haven't given up on the site (again). Life has a way of throwing curveballs, and I've had quite a few things going on—some too personal to share. But I want you to know that I plan on being more present moving forward.

You don't have to be a superhero​

Do you have what it takes to fight a dragon? Probably not, but that's okay. Most princesses these days are in very little need of rescue. Courage isn't something that you have. It is the choice to stand up and act on your beliefs.

This series will focus on answering direct questions. I do not promise to answer every question received, but I do promise that every answer will be honest, sometimes brutally so. When applicable, I will provide links to resources, but most of the responses will be derived directly from past experiences, and stories.

If you wish to ask a question, feel free to reach out via e-mail.

This Isn't for You​

After years of silence, I’m back. But let me be clear: this isn’t for you. This site will have typos. It will have grammatical quirks and moments where tense shifts like a poorly edited movie. And you know what? I don’t care. This space is my playground, my canvas, my therapy. Sometimes, you might stumble upon something profound. Other times, it might just be a fleeting thought or a random curiosity. If you find value here, great. If not, remember: I’m not doing this for you.