This is not about forced solitude or how to cope with it. It's not about being lonely or escaping from the world into mountain seclusion. Rather, solitude is an exercise in nurturing your state of mind to achieve inner freedom. Read on to discover the many advantages of solitude.
Put Your Life in Perspective
Being in your own company gives you the chance to see where you're heading in terms of your relationships, career, and spiritual evolution. If you spend at least thirty minutes each day reflecting on the previous day and analyzing how you lived it, you'll gain valuable insights. That's the power of perspective!
One thing you may realize during self-reflection is that most of your time and energy on an average day goes into maintaining relationships. When alone, you can decide which ones are worth keeping and nurturing. Remember that a good relationship allows both people involved to grow into better individuals. Ask yourself whether your relationships follow this wise counsel.
Similarly, consider your career. Are you progressing toward your career goals? Have you remained in an unfulfilling work situation because you fear change? Is there another profession you consistently dream about?
What are your priorities in life? This question is crucial. For instance, you might find that nurturing creative pursuits or raising your children takes precedence over your day job. If so, would it make sense to transition to freelancing instead of maintaining a traditional 9-to-5 position?
Learn to Be Independent
Psychoanalysts say that the capacity to spend time alone marks emotional maturity.
What constitutes true solitude? When you're sitting alone but glued to your cell phone or browsing social media, that's not solitude. In this age of high-tech gadgets enabling constant communication, few people actively seek solitude. However, you may come to appreciate occasional solitude once you understand its benefits.
For example, if you can't find a companion for a movie, do you go by yourself? There's certainly no harm in attending alone.
You don't have to be in the company of others to feel fulfilled and happy. In solitude, you learn to enjoy your own company!
Being alone often helps you think more deeply about life's challenges. When you're emotionally and mentally prepared, you'll be better equipped to face them head-on.
It's empowering to solve problems independently. You'll develop self-love through recognizing your own competence and resourcefulness—and loving yourself is essential for others to love you!
Get Those Creative Juices Flowing
Creative minds value solitude. Even composers like Mozart and Brahms, who could concentrate while surrounded by people, did so by immersing themselves in their thoughts—their chosen state of solitude.
"When I am, as it were, completely myself, entirely alone, and of good cheer—say, traveling in a carriage, or walking after a good meal, or during the night when I cannot sleep; it is on such occasions that my ideas flow best and most abundantly."
— Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
However, most creative individuals require physical solitude. In a private space free from distractions, significant growth occurs.
A creative writer constantly has story seeds germinating in their mind. These ideas need time to incubate and manifest through contemplation. How can you contemplate when constantly surrounded by others or tethered to phones and television? Writers often blame "writer's block," but the real issue may be insufficient solitude for research and ideation.
Anthony Storr, author of "Solitude," notes that writers of genius like Tolstoy and Beatrix Potter experienced declining creativity when immersed in family matters and interpersonal relationships. Storr observes: "Creative artists are quite likely to choose relationships which will further their work, rather than relationships which are intrinsically rewarding, and their spouses may well find their marital relations take second place."
Enrich Your Relationships
Despite solitude's many benefits, society conditions us to believe that interpersonal relationships solve every problem. Psychologists note rising divorce and separation rates because couples must switch from office mode to romantic settings without adequate transition time. Does this sound familiar?
You need regular breaks from even your greatest love. Allow your partner to pursue their interests. Let them spend time with friends and hobbies without complaint. The tighter you hold on to each other, the more confined you'll both feel, potentially leading to resentment and conflict.
"But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls."
— Kahlil Gibran
You both need personal space to pursue meaningful activities and maintain perspective on your relationship. While love may be blind, seeing your beloved objectively is crucial. This means appreciating their positive qualities while acknowledging their limitations.
Marriage counselors often observe that couples who spend all their time together tend to have the most intense arguments. These conflicts may unconsciously stem from a need for solitude.
If your partner occasionally has breakfast alone while you're still in bed (or vice versa), that's perfectly fine. Going jogging alone is healthy too. You both need individual time, but not so much that your partner feels neglected. Strive for balance between solitude and intimacy.
Transform Yourself
Solitude is essential for transforming negative habits and emotions. Being alone helps you see yourself clearly, acknowledge mistakes, and initiate change.
The transformation process involves three key steps:
- Identifying your negative qualities and shortcomings
- Understanding how your habits and unbridled emotions affect others
- Cultivating genuine desire for change and working toward it
If you have a strict yet loving spiritual mentor who maintains honesty with you, consider yourself fortunate—they can help identify areas needing change.
"Solitude is the furnace of transformation. Without solitude we remain victims of our society and continue to be entangled in the illusions of the false self."
— Henri J. M. Nouwen, Out of Solitude
Transformation requires shifting mental attitudes, making solitude indispensable. In constant company, social pressure encourages conformity. For instance, abstaining from drinking or smoking becomes extremely challenging when surrounded by friends who engage in these activities. Or perhaps you habitually watch television with a drink in hand. Objective self-observation helps you become a better person to be around.
Enjoy Doing What You Like
One of solitude's greatest advantages is the freedom to pursue your desires. You can read uninterrupted, watch educational documentaries without fighting for the remote, wake up on your schedule, enjoy your preferred music—the possibilities are endless.
No discussion of solitude is complete without mentioning Henry David Thoreau, the poet, philosopher, and transcendentalist who wrote "Walden, or, Life in the Woods"—a memoir of his experiment in self-reliance.
"The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready."
— Henry David Thoreau
Thoreau lived for over two years in a self-built cabin on his friend Ralph Waldo Emerson's property. Situated beside Walden Pond, he spent his days writing and contemplating both himself and nature.
Through his writings, Thoreau inspired great minds like Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. Today, he guides those seeking spiritual harmony through solitude and nature. His works offer sage advice for anyone pursuing solitude.
Emerson said of Thoreau: "He was bred to no profession; he never married; he lived alone; he never went to church; he never voted; he refused to pay a tax to the State; he ate no flesh, he drank no wine, he never knew the use of tobacco... and knew how to be poor without the least hint of squalor or inelegance."
Things to Do in Your Solitude
Pursuing solitude doesn't mean sitting idle in contemplation. Many enriching activities can accompany your alone time.
1. Keep a Journal
Writing a journal offers therapeutic benefits and stress relief. It helps self-understanding by documenting your feelings, conversations, hopes, goals, failures, and successes.
A journal becomes your constant, undemanding companion—always ready to accept without asking anything in return. Writing in it resembles conversing with a friend and might reveal your writing talent. Later readings can refresh cherished memories or recall important lessons.
Regular journaling clarifies thoughts and beliefs while offering fresh perspectives on challenges. Research shows several health benefits:
- Boosts cognitive function
- Reduces symptoms of asthma and arthritis
- Strengthens the immune system
"I guess whatever maturity is there may be there because I've been keeping a journal forever. In high school my friends would make fun of me – you're doing your man diary again. So I was always trying to translate experience into words."
— Anthony Doerr
2. Reduce Stress Through Classical Music
The "Mozart Effect" is known for improving spatial and visual skills and reducing epileptic seizures. Beyond these effects, classical music offers significant stress-relief benefits.
Dr. Rosalia Staricoff, Research Director at London's Chelsea and Westminster Hospital, notes: "The physiological benefits have been measured. Music reduces blood pressure, the heart rate, and hormones related to stress."
Common ways people overtax their brains include:
- Experiencing stressful situations
- Getting insufficient sleep
- Consuming excessive caffeine or alcohol
- Smoking
These activities reduce brain blood flow, diminishing cognitive efficiency. Stress releases toxic hormones affecting memory centers, and prolonged stress destroys brain cells.
"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."
— Berthold Auerbach
3. Do Some Gardening
Have you experienced the joy of eating fruit from your own garden? Gardens offer daily wonders—tender shoots, fresh buds, ripening fruit, and blooming flowers. As a gardener, you create and nurture this beauty.
"To forget how to dig the earth and to tend the soil is to forget ourselves."
— Mohandas K. Gandhi
Gardening provides multiple sensory pleasures: the feel of soil and velvet petals, the burst of fresh flavors, and the invigorating effects of outdoor air. It offers excellent exercise while satisfying humanity's innate connection to nature.
4. Read a Good Book
Choose reading material thoughtfully, focusing on books with positive messages or valuable lessons. Reading offers numerous benefits:
- Enhances intelligence through active information processing
- Teaches practical skills through detailed instruction
- Expands vocabulary
- Enables virtual travel to unexplored places
- Reduces stress by providing healthy escape
- Improves concentration
- Strengthens memory through plot and character recall
- Increases creative thinking
- Develops conversational skills
- Opens doors to new discoveries
For instance, explore "The Secret Life of Nature" by Peter Tompkins, author of the bestselling "The Secret Life of Plants." It offers fresh perspectives for anyone who enjoyed childhood fairy tales.
5. Cultivate a Hobby
Some discover their passions early in life, while others find them later. If you lack a hobby, explore your interests and abilities to discover what excites you.
Hobbies provide multiple benefits:
- Stress reduction
- Improved health
- Enhanced confidence and self-esteem
- Enriched relationships
The stress-relief benefits of hobbies naturally promote better health. Engaging in enjoyable activities provides an oasis from daily pressures, helping you unwind and rejuvenate.
Discovering your talents builds confidence and self-esteem. Regarding relationships, hobbies create better balance. Making someone the center of your life can strain relationships, but pursuing personal interests earns respect and admiration while allowing partners similar freedom, leading to healthier relationships.
"Today is life – the only life you are sure of. Make the most of today. Get interested in something. Shake yourself awake. Develop a hobby. Let the winds of enthusiasm sweep through you. Live today with gusto."
— Dale Carnegie
Conclusion
As you've discovered, solitude isn't a lonely pursuit! Time alone reduces stress through healthy, enjoyable activities, strengthens relationships, and helps you become your best self. After all, you deserve a fulfilling, joyful life!